Tag: Enneagram in relationships

REVIEW: Take Care of Your Friends by Christina Wilcox

REVIEW: Take Care of Your Friends by Christina Wilcox

Posted on by Jaymie

[I received a free electronic review copy of this book from Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.]

Summary and Review

I enjoyed this new Enneagram resource focused on interpersonal relationships. I’m not sure the author did enough with the “six pillars of friendship” to make their inclusion work out. But the rest is great – I loved the early descriptions of all of the types.

The book includes sections on stress/security (called “health levels” which is different than the way other writers/instructors talk about health levels with the Enneagram), triads, stances, and conflict styles. I felt like the author’s descriptions were fresh and not rehashed ways of describing things. I’ve read a lot of Enneagram resources so it really catches my attention when I read something that feels innovative or insightful in a new way. Her approach makes this the sort of book I would read start to finish rather than just pull out my type info and then move on.

If someone’s really interested in digging into the Enneagram, I would start with other resources to help you determine your type. But this would make a nice gift for someone who has done that initial work, knows their type, and wants to apply the Enneagram to their interpersonal relationships. You can pair this with Suzanne Stabile’s The Journey Toward Wholeness which also looks at the Enneagram and relationships.

Rating: ♥♥♥♥*

*♥♥♥♥ = Great! Might re-read.

REVIEW: The Journey Toward Wholeness by Suzanne Stabile

REVIEW: The Journey Toward Wholeness by Suzanne Stabile

Posted on by Jaymie

[I received a free electronic review copy of this book from Netgalley and IVP in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.]

Summary and Review

The focus in this one is on the centers (Head, Heart, Gut), stress and security moves, and stances. This is a great intermediate level resource for those who have been digging into the Enneagram for a bit. I think beginners could start here, but I wouldn’t recommend it. I think The Road Back to You is a better introduction. Then, once you know your number, or think you have narrowed it down a bit, this could be a helpful second (or third or fourth) resource.

I appreciated the personal stories – Suzanne’s and others’. I’ve followed Suzanne Stabile  long enough to know something about many of her family members. I always enjoy a new story or illustration starring one of her kids or grandkids. The narratives balance out the instructional pieces nicely.

The general information about the centers and stances wasn’t new to me. But her *descriptions* of them are super helpful. And her recommendations for each type feel spot on. As I have said before, when I get to read material written by someone with my same number, I find it especially fruitful. And Suzanne and I share a number, so I got a lot out of this one. I am eager to receive my print copy when this releases so I can dig into it once again.

You can read my reviews of other Enneagram resources here. If you want to see what it is like to read an Enneagram book from someone with your number, check out the 40 Days as a ______ line from Suzanne. Each is written by a person who operates from that number.

Rating: ♥♥♥♥*

*♥♥♥♥ = Great! Might re-read.

REVIEW: Enneagram Empowerment by Laura Miltenberger

REVIEW: Enneagram Empowerment by Laura Miltenberger

Posted on by Jaymie

[I received an electronic review copy of this book from Netgalley and DK Publishing in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.]

Summary and Review

This opens with introductory information on the Enneagram including four pages per type in an overview. The book also introduces concepts like wings, stances, centers, and subtypes. I was sad to see it comes with a quiz. As I have said before, your Enneagram type is notoriously hard to discern with a quiz. Quizzes work well when evaluating observable behaviors. But the Enneagram is all about motivation. You may have several types who eschew conflict, but their reasons for doing so will differ. When I took the “quiz” here, I had five numbers with the same overall score. The goal of the quiz is to help readers narrow down the 9 types to 2 or 3. For me, I would have had 7 from the quiz.

When it comes to the introductory material, I would not recommend this book to Enneagram novices. Other than the quiz, there’s nothing “wrong” with the material at all. The introductory material is just pretty thin. I feel there are other resources that are better – The Road Back to You and Millenneagram to name a couple. They spend more time on the basics. (You can read my reviews other Enneagram resources here.)

Where this resource shines, though, is in the information on empowerment. The author splits the book into two sections – self-empowerment and relational empowerment. Self-empowerment includes things like self-care and empowered thinking, while relational empowerment includes boundaries, etc.. The author gives both general information on these various topics as well as Enneagram-type specific examples and suggestions. I found the Enneagram-specific pieces fascinating.

I am not sure I personally would get enough out of the empowerment pieces to add this to my Enneagram library. BUT I could see therapists and spiritual directors (although there is no faith component to the book) who work with people of a variety of types in empowerment tasks getting a LOT out of those pieces of this resource. I will definitely recommend this one to my helping-professional friends for their work.

Rating: ♥♥♥½*

*♥♥♥½ = Good+

BONUS REVIEW: The Enneagram and You by Gina Gomez

BONUS REVIEW: The Enneagram and You by Gina Gomez

Posted on by Jaymie

[I received an electronic review copy of this book from Netgalley and Adams Media in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.]

Summary/Structure

The book begins with something of a quiz for readers to help them identify their Enneagram type. Then there’s some introductory and background material before the author dives into a description for each of the nine types (about 5 pages of content per number). Then the book considers the numbers in pairs – Type One with Type One, Type One with Type Two, etc. – in the areas of relationships at home, romantic relationships, and relationships at work.

 

Review

In a lot of ways, this is an introductory level Enneagram book. There’s a lot of breadth. There’s a brief introduction to the nine types and some of the features of each (wings, stress and security numbers, strengths and challenges). A good portion of the book looks at the numbers in various relationship contexts.

My first concern is with the quiz. Most certified teachers will tell you that tests are notoriously bad at helping people find their true Enneagram Type. In fact, the tests can put someone on the wrong path for a long time, leaving the individual frustrated because their number only sort of fits. (You can find pieces of yourself in all nine types.) The best approach for discovering your number is to listen to some highly respected teachers (The Enneagram Journey Podcast by Suzanne Stabile is my personal favorite.). And then do some reading on the types. (You can see my reviews of other Enneagram resources here.)

My favorite thing about this resource is the author’s exploration of the various triads involved in the Enneagram – stances, or the Hornevian triads; Harmonic triads; Object Relations triads; and then the usual centers of intelligence. In my opinion, these triads are easily second or even third level material on the Enneagram. They can be helpful to beginners, because if someone finds themselves in a particular triad, it narrows their possible type from nine down to three. If they find themselves in a couple triads, they might be able to pin their number down even farther. But most introductory materials don’t dig into anything beyond the centers of intelligence.

I was delighted to find the triads piece in this book, but it is really only touched on. I would love to find a meaty resource that really digs into that level of study, but this is not that resource.

If a beginner asked me where to start, I would still recommend The Road Back to You before any other resource. And for those looking to dig into the types in relationships, I would suggest The Path Between Us. But this is a resource that could also work as an introduction to the Enneagram and to the Enneagram in relationships for those starting to explore their type.

Rating: ♥♥♥½